I understand that your time is important, so I will keep my blogs short and sweet.
Do you ever feel a lack of motivation to do things? Do you find it hard to sustain effort? Do you ever feel unsuccessful? Do you ever wonder why? This short blog underpins some important things you should know about the two. A brief overview of motivation and success which may offer a new perspective of how you approach your motivators and how you measure your personal success.
Motivation - Intrinsic Vs Extrinsic
Intrinsic motivation refers to the internal drive or interest that comes from within an individual to engage in an activity for their own sake, without any external reward or pressure. The motivation is derived from personal satisfaction, curiosity or the desire to learn and improve.
Examples of intrinsic motivation could be; learning a new instrument or language, spending time with people that you want to and not because you have to, sticking to a training program and looking after your health or anything related to fun and enjoyment, purpose, passion, growth, self expression and curiosity, freedom and emotional connection to the self.
Extrinsic motivation on the other hand refers to external factors such as reward, punishment or social pressure, that drive an individual to engage in certain activities. This motivation is driven to achieve specific outcomes such as recognition, money or avoiding punishment. “If you do this, you will get this in return”.
Examples of extrinsic motivation could be related to; going to work for somebody else to get paid, posting things on social media for social validation or fame, getting in shape only for a wedding or other special events, doing things for praise, hard to sustain, no choice, lack of intention, tangible motivation, emotional disconnection and pressure.
“Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success” - Jerry Seinfield
Success
What is success exactly and more importantly what does it mean to you? The general explanation of success would imply that it is the accomplishment of an aim or goal. Many of us feel like we are unsuccessful, mainly because of the ego and the way we compare ourselves to others. We use others as a measurement of our personal success, which is flawed, but that’s the ego. Conversely, many people think they are successful and better than others because they have attained what they perceive to be a measurement of success. A new house, maybe two, a flash new car etc. This is also the ego at play.
In reality, your personal success should be measured by internal motivators, the things that have the most value to you. Achieving intrinsic goals leads directly to feelings of fulfillment and autonomy. If you pursue only external motivators, this may lead to a disconnection of the self and is not sustainable long term. That’s probably one of the reasons you hate your job and why you might hear wealthy people say money doesn't buy happiness.
I’m not here saying that you should never be extrinsically motivated or pursue money and other nice things to provide a better life for you and your family, but you should be able to differentiate value and what makes you truly happy.
I get asked a lot, how do you stay so motivated? The answer is quite simple. I am intrinsically motivated. My intentions are clear within myself and I choose what I do, who I spend my time with, what I do for fun and set non-negotiables within myself that I know align with my values. I take full accountability. Of course, there will always be external rewards for things but it is your approach to them that counts.
For example, I remember when I was trying to put on a lot of muscle, I would buy tee shirts and jumpers that I really liked but two sizes too big and hang them at the front of my cupboard where I could see them every day. The goal would be to fit into them. Conversely you could do the same if your aim is to lose weight. Buy clothes 2 sizes too small and work your ass off to fit into them. This is an example of using an external reward to your favour.
There’s no one standing at my bed at 4:00am when my alarm goes off forcing me out of bed. I get up and go to the gym because it is a personal requirement.
“The reward for our work is not what we get, but what we become” - Paulo Coelho
I do not measure my success by what I have accomplished, but by the things I am yet to accomplish. This mindset keeps me pushing forward with discipline and the understanding that whatever I accomplished yesterday is in the past. I am proud but never satisfied. Being satisfied is past tense and can lead to complacency and stagnation. You may find yourself asking questions like ‘what's next”? Or “is that it”? After accomplishing a big goal. It is the death of dreams to live too long in past accomplishments. If you understand that all you truly have is the present moment, then you should also understand that you can only really be measured by what you accomplish today.
I believe this mindset will arrive me at a destination later in life with as little regret or remorse for the past as possible and maybe then I can look back and feel satisfied.
The thought of getting older and thinking to myself “what if” motivates me to focus on the things that I have to do today and to sacrifice what I want now, for what I want most. This way of thinking also implies that the mistakes that you made yesterday, last week or 5 years ago are not a measurement of who you are today. If you are lucky enough to draw breath, you have an opportunity to rectify any mistakes that you made in the past and redeem yourself by the actions that you take today.
Final note
Motivation and success are relative to you. That’s it. Society may try to tell you what you should value and dangle carrot after carrot for you to chase, but surely you are tired? Out of all the hours you spend in your day, reflect on how many of them are internally and externally motivated and keep that ego in check!
Love yas!
Steno